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Monday, March 06, 2006
The first "No"
Do you find it hard to say "No" at certain times?
For the first time I've said "No" to a certain friend that had sought help from me..
and its actually something that shld considered "no big deal"..
But I just said "No"..
Shocked by my answer?
I was equally shocked..
I am feeling gulity for saying "No",
But I felt relieved for saying "No"..
Contradicting?
Indeed...
Just felt that,
I shld learn to love myself more..
I shld learn to protect myself more..
No wonder humans are selfish, cause when they think of themselves, and the more they think, the less help they give..
Why shld I be going thru all the stress and putting so much effort in something when the one I'm helping are just concerned about meeting datelines and "passing with a "just pass" will do..
Why shld I be sacfricing my "happy hours" when the one I'm helping is enjoying..
Why shld I be "suffering all the hardwork" when the one I'm helping are not trying to work hard..
Why shld I be "draining" all my brain juice when the one I'm helping just seems too tired to use the brain..
For close to 2 years, many people telling me all these..
Some were close schoolmates, some were school accquntances..
But I choose to ignore..
Finally..
I am tired..
Nah, not only that,
I am sick and tired..
Its not the "taken for granted",
cause its a long understood fact that there's no returns..
Its the disappointment in the person whom you helped and called friend..
Its the anger when you are asking yourself, what this friend of yours had been doing all these while..
Its the sickness you felt when you are actually "agreeing" to what others had been commenting..
Just the worst was not seeing any improvement and effort from this friend, after so long..
Sometimes..
Help shldnt be given just like that..
Cause instead of helping, it might be ruining..
posted by Elephant on 9:13 PM
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