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Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Attitude Problem
Have no idea why..
I seems to dislike my work.. (Did it started long ago??)
Have no idea why..
I seems to lost interest in my job..
Have no idea why..
I seems to dread going to work..
Have no idea why..
I seems to be failing to meet up to my own expectations..
Have no idea why..
I seems not to be enjoying my job..
In conclusion..
Have no idea why,
I seems to have the thought of quitting my job.. and its getting stronger day by day..
When I first started..
I was
Full of drive..
Full of energy..
Full of ideas..
Full of inspirations..
I took pride in my work.
I enjoyed doing shows.
From Setting the theme, Designing the Invites, Casting of Models, Fitting of Models, Styling of clothes, Music Selection, Coordinating the whole event.. Everything.. I truly enjoyed..
Its tiring, its tough..
But I've enjoyed the whole process..
I enjoyed going to shows.
But slowly..
I realised..
I cannot do admin
I cannot adapt to the "culture"
I cannot adapt to the "system" (Cause there is no system)
I cannot work with "emotions"
I cannot work with "feeling"
Today,
My boss cldnt take it..
"I cant work with you, like that, looking so uninterested" -
We were planning for our show.. left one week only..
"If like that I rather not discuss, you can leave"
I was thinking of standing up and leave.. But was thinking, to leave the room or leave for home..
"Go go go, lets not discuss"
She got up, I followed.. I went back to my seat..
I was actually disappointed with her not sending me home..
My fault right..
I do agree.. for "showing attitude"
But with an "old Tai-tai" as boss..
Who repeats the same thing again and again.. Not bearing in mind its "home time"
Who comes in the office at late afternoon, and "discuss" as long as she likes if she has no dinner plans..
Who works according to her "feel",
making last min changes and not remembering what we had discussed earlier..
Who never "listen" when she has her "own views"
Who never pay attention to you when she wants her way..
Who makes work so inefficient because of such ways..
I really dunnoe how to "hold my displeasure"
I really dunnow how to explain the situation..
I am in the wrong, but she too..
I love her as a person..
I owe her for where I am now..
I am a "princess" in the company - "If not how I can give attitude for so long"
Cause she treats me like her own daughter..
She gives me all the "authority" I can have, although I am just 21years old..
I shld say, she did spoilt me..
It does pains me much to know I am behaving like this..
It does pains me much to know I am not meeting up to my own and hers expectations..
It does pains me much to know that after "scolding" me, she still make efforts to check on me, make sure I am alright, check to see if I am "okie"
SHE IS THE BOSS..
But I really hated her whenever she quote : "Dont treat here like a school. You are no longer in school.."
But I'm really lost..
I dunnoe what I shld do..
I dunnoe how to get my old self back..
We are just too similar..
Both are spoilt in nature.. (She is the youngest and I am the only child, everyone gives in to her.. apparently, I was the first in the company to go against her - I'm not proud of this..)
Both are stubborn.. (When we set views on sth, we will want to do it our way)
Both are strong-headed women..
Both are "led by emotions"..
Both are constantly on diet.. (Hungry Women = Angry Women)
Both are..
Aiyo.. the list will go on and on lah..
I am like the younger version of her, without the "strong financial backing" lor..
So, can you imagine..
when both of us join force, the other party will die.. (But I'm not as power she yet lah)
but when we both fall out, the whole world will die.. (innocent parties)
Hai~
Miss Elephant really got bad attitude problem..
How?
posted by Elephant on 10:28 PM
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